Happy Thanksgiving

Well it is Thanksgiving day and I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. It is snowing heavily here and we have almost an inch of snow so far today and are expecting more. It is just small flakes, but constant and it is making everything look beautiful. I am hoping that this winter I will actually be able to make a snowman at my boyfriend's and my future house as I will be moving in with him officially in the near future :)
Last year's weather was so sad that I did not have a chance to build a snowman.

My parents made another delicious meal this year. A nice turkey breast in the crockpot, black olives, mashed potatoes, rolls, green beans, and then foods I don't care for (cranberry sauce and stuffing). Then apple and pumpkin pies with whipped cream. Deliciousness.

We are starting shopping a little tonight and more tomorrow morning. I have my list in hand for a few last minute present ideas, I hope to get.

Last night I got to see some good friends who I rarely get to see as we now live all over the place. It was so nice to see them again. I also got to meet some new people. I get to see one of them and their boyfriend on Saturday for a double date.

My boyfriend is slowly meeting my friends and family, which is really nice. He has already met one of my best friends as well as my brother and parents. Saturday he will meet my Grammy and my aunt, uncle and baby cousin. Then he will meet one friend and her boyfriend Saturday night, and another Sunday afternoon for lunch. We are progressing in our relationship, which is really nice.  Lots of changes but good ones actually great ones.

What is everyone thankful for this year?

Getting Healthy and Other Random Stuff

So its been a while since I've posted. To be exact its been a month since I've posted. In that time the following has happened:

1. I said I love you. 
2. I have been working with more and more groups at my internship
3. I have a new job
4. I had an interview for a spring placement with another interview next week
5. I have taken a test
6. I have visited my family several times
7. My brother moved to the UP for work
8. Researched the Praxis

And much more. 

Recently though, my boyfriend, J, and I have decided to become healthier. We both have gained weight in the previous years to meeting each other and both want to lose a little. We both have our goals. He wants to be back to where he was a year ago. I want to be at a healthy weight for my height and back to a weight/size I haven't been since high school. Its hard to be healthy with always studying or working or wanting to sleep. Its easy to just grab something quick to eat rather than to cook something healthy to eat. 

Luckily my boyfriend and I have started to cook meals together to try to stay healthy. We also plan to cut back on portions, plan our meals ahead of time, and to walk everyday we are together as long as the weather isn't bad. On the days we are apart we plan on working out on our own. He wants to start running again. I can only dream of running again as past injuries continue to haunt and ruin my ability to even run a half mile without being in pain for several days to over a week after a run. So due to these injuries, I will stick with walking, Zumba, and Wii related fitness things. 

I will most likely create an award system for myself for exercising a certain amount of days in a row and for losing certain amounts of weight. Shoes, books, and movies sound like good rewards to me...also maybe more wii exercise games as they are always fun. I will research getting in shape and maybe take some before and after pics to help encourage myself. My goal is to look awesome at my friend T's wedding in June. I have more than half a year to lose some weight and look awesome. 

So I will do my best to try to keep you all updated on my goals and weight loss. If you have any tips or want tips that I am using feel free to comment below. 

Is it Love?

So last time I wrote about the amazing J. Well since that post we are now officially dating. So for facebook we have been official for two weeks, but for our own feelings we have been dating for a month and a half. We try to spend as much time as we can together, but it is hard when I had things planned before I met him, but now I have time. Every time we are trying to decide what to do, he wants to come up with new ideas. He doesn't want me to get bored. I just have to keep reminding him some days that I'm tired and I'm happy to just spend the time with him cuddling and watching movies. He makes me feel so special when I am with him. My stomach still does flips sometimes, but otherwise I'm just happy looking into his eyes and smiling. I can't seem to stop smiling.

So with all of these amazing feelings floating around, I've been trying to figure out if I'm in love and ready to say those 3 scary but amazing words, or if I should wait until it just comes out when I am ready to say it. I just don't know what love feels to me, so I have been asking people how they knew.

1. I asked my parents, and both being ridiculous, I got basically the same answer, "We are?" Not helpful, but they did tell me I would know when it was the right time. And that once we are in love that it takes work to keep the love going. 
2. I asked my friend L. She said that both her and her bf had never said it before, but that they knew within a month of dating that it was time to say it. That she wants to spend a lot of time with him and cares for him deeply. 
3. I asked my friend T last night how she knew and this is what she texted me: "I think I really fell when I realized that he was my best friend the only one that would be there in a heart beat. he made me tingle and just feel safe. He didn't care about the drama in my life n saved me from it. I don't know exactly what your looking for but when you're ready you'll know it. You could fall in love with a look, a touch, a hug. Its how that makes you feel. Do you feel safe with him, can you trust him, will he be there for you no matter what. And the big one, can you see a future."

With some many different ways to feel love, I just don't want to make a mistake. But at this moment I cannot see myself with anyone else. I see good looking guys go by and I don't even really pay attention anymore. I can see a future with J, we have even talked about it. 

I have warned him about my past and how I can be sometimes. And from his responses I know that I can trust him and don't want to lose him. He doesn't want to rush me, but he also can't help how he feels. From a text last night, I am pretty sure he is ready to say those three words, but is waiting until I am ready to hear or say them. I just don't want to hurt him, but I at this moment cannot see myself without him. 

So if I say those three little words the next time I see him or further a long, we shall see. But for now I am going to enjoy my happiness and the feeling of enjoying my time with him. 

The Amazing J

I am a super happy girl right now. I met a super awesome guy who I will call J. We met about a month ago on an online dating site that I joined thinks to my friend L. After I read through his profile I decided what the heck why not send him a message asking him a question. So I sent him a question about his dog that he had mentioned in his profile and ever since we have been texting for hours every day.  The funny part is he didn't respond right away to my message not thinking it would turn into anything. He also asked if I was real for the first couple days as I liked some of the same shows and such as him.

We have now gone on two awesome dates and have more planned.

The first date was a putt putting and dinner date. He won at putt putting (even though people told him to let me win). I was so shocked on how easy it came to talking to him and how quickly time flew as we talked. 4 hours later I had to say good bye so that I could get sleep before class the next day (it was finals week).

The second date was yesterday and lasted a marvelous 13 hours. He picked me up in the morning to go the zoo and we spend a couple hours walking around, looking at the animals, feeding giraffes, and talking. Then we went to dunch and talked there for a couple hours. Lastly we went back to my place and watched movies and talked for hours throughout the movies. We just talked and joked and laughed and enjoyed each others company.

I am just so happy right now. He makes my days better, and my time apart from him fly. I cannot wait to see him again when I go back to the town we both live in as right now I am home at my parents working while on break.

So that is it for this update, talk to you all another time.

New Hope

So in honor of an awesome guy I just met, we'll call him J ( I hope I don't have any other J's in this blog, I should keep track of what I name people). Today while texting J he made a Star Wars pun about New Hope, which was pretty awesome. I'll get to talking about him in a little bit.

So I'm already half way through my second summer semester. It is crazy how fast this semester is going. I have only seen my clients one or two times, which is very sad. I am excited because I am working with some new types of clients, which is a great experience. I have clinic supervisors I have also never worked with, which also makes it interesting. One is brand new to the clinic, so she is still getting the hang of things. Classes are a challenge as they are trying to fit a full regular semester of information into a few short weeks. It is kicking my butt with all of the work.

So the last time I wrote I mentioned I was going to release the inner lioness. I did and I asked B two very important questions. The first one left me still confused, but less so than prior to asking the question. The second question left me a little disappointed, but ready to figure things out for myself. I see that it wasn't meant to happen, but that gave me a chance to explore and open myself up for new things (I will be talking about J soon).

So this past weekend I went to visit my family. It was so nice and relaxing and interesting. I got there Friday afternoon after class and relaxed. My mom was at the pool so I worked on some homework until she showed up, and then we both took naps. I sure get lots of naps when I visit my family. So one thing that is a problem when I visit my family is that there are not enough beds for me to have one. I have slept on air mattresses in the kitchen ever since my parents got their fifth wheel. I happen to have bad luck with air mattresses. For some reason they always leak and I end up on a flat mattress. My parents bought be a brand new one for this past weekend and the second night of laying on it, it was completely flat within 1.5 to 2 hours. I was a very unhappy camper. Saturday morning with my family I tried golfing for the first time. It was a golf scramble with others from the campground, so luckily you got to take a shot from wherever the best ball was. I was super excited whenever we used mine. It is definitely a challenge when you are 5'3ish and have to rent women's clubs that happen to be way too tall for you, but I managed. My family team happened to come in last, but we had fun. It was also pretty awesome that I didn't get carded at all on Saturday at dinner or the golf course. The sad part was that when I ordered my favorite drink, a screwdriver, I had to tell the kid bartender what was in it. He gave me the blankest stare when I told him what I wanted. He needs a lot of training. Saturday night my family went out to dinner and then my brother and I went to see Despicable Me 2!! It was my second time going to see it. I love the movie!!!! It is so funny and so much adult humor!!! Sunday I went with my parents to their church which is brand new, meets once a month, and is in a movie theater. It is pretty cool.

So now that I think I am mostly caught up, I can talk about J. So I recently, only a couple days ago, met J online on a dating website. I only joined it because my friend L suggested it and was having success. I just decided to give it a try to see if there might be some guy on there to meet. So I decided to create a full profile and started letting my inner "lioness" out some more and messaged guys first instead of waiting for them. So I messaged this guy J because we had some things in common and I though why not. We have been messaging since then. Used to be we only messaged on the site and it was often hours apart, but last night we exchanged numbers. Today we have been texting all afternoon and evening. It is fun. We have talked about so many things, including Star Wars, which is why I have the
name for this post as New Hope. For some reason he thinks I am pretty awesome, which is awesome in its self.

So I thought I'd share some cuteness for all of you to make you smile. 

This is my 1 month old 1st cousin. Isn't he just adorable?

Confusion and Birthdays

I made a trip to see B a few weeks ago. It was a good weekend of relaxing and hanging out. The one problem, I panicked and didn't ask him if he was interested in me as more than a friend or if he just liked to flirt with me. I like him, but I'm too good at protecting myself from getting hurt. I don't let myself feel or I don't take chances. But I have declared I am going to take a chance. I am going to ask him about how he feels and if I even have a chance. Also tell him if he wants to be my date at a wedding I'm in, I want him to be my boyfriend first. As my friend A says, "Let the lioness out." Where that lioness is, I have no idea. But I will find her.

My birthday was awesome. I got to spend it with my brother, his girlfriend, and my parents. It was nice. I also got to go to a baseball game.

Why am I so scared of giving guys a chance?

Study Study Study

Ugh...so tired of studying. I have spent my weekend studying. Right now I feel totally exhausted and drained, for more than one reason. I have several reasons that I am exhausted, but the main one is I have been sitting in this stupid chair at Biggby since around 11:45ish and now it is 5:12. Even the two coffee drinks I have had haven't helped. They have instead made me exhausted and nauseous from too much sugar. I'm finding that my body does not like sugar, why? I have no idea. I'm wondering if the possibility of being insulin resistance affects sugar intake, or if my body just doesn't like sugar anymore. After my birthday weekend I'll see how I do. I'm going back on this diet, healthy eating thing I did last summer. No gluten, no dairy, no sugar. I'll limit my sugar to one drink a weekend. Salads and such for meals. It is easier than it sounds. Seeing as my body already hates all three of those, getting rid of them should make me feel better. I know I'm blabbering. I tend to do that when I'm tired, but a blog is the perfect place to blabber.  The only people who actually read this are friends when I remind them to read it. For some reason I doubt there are people out there reading this who I don't know. But who knows.

So I'm going to try to come up with a list of study tips:

1. Do not put everything off until the weekend before an exam, even if the exam isn't until the middle of the week. It is called procrastination and is no good. I am very good at procrastination and need to stop it. Other than being overly stressed, I miss my perfectionist, over-achieving self and would like it back. 
2. Find a study partner. Studying is more fun when you are doing it with someone else. Plus if you learn one way and your partner learns a similar way, it is a win win situation. I learn well by quizzing others, and my friends learn by being quizzed usually. It works out in the end. 
3. Find good study music. I tend to avoid music with lyrics, unless they are in a language I don't understand. My two favorite Pandora stations I have created are my Lindsey Stirling Radio and my Shakira Radio. My Shakira radio is almost all in Spanish, the only problem with it is I want to get up and dance. Sometimes I want to dance with my Lindsey Stirling Radio as well. 
4. Find a good place to study. I find I cannot study at home as I get too distracted with things I could be doing or shows/movies to watch. My favorite place lately has been Biggby. I just put on my headphones and zone everyone out. 
5. Do your study guide in several different ways. Type it, write it, flashcards, online flashcards. The more you write/type it out, the more likely it is to sink in. 
6. Take breaks. It is a good idea to give yourself a break every hour or two. Otherwise you can fry your brain or it is even possible to over study. Get up and walk around. Eat something, get a drink, play a game. Change up your music for a little while. Just give your brain and eyes and your bottom a break. 
7. Don't drink too much coffee. Either you won't sleep later that night, you'll be on a caffeine buzz and crash, or you'll end up with a headache. Either way you're also dehydrating yourself when you drink too much caffeine. Water is a good idea. I like tea as well. 

Well that is it for study tips from me. I should listen to myself when it comes to them. Well I've taken a break and where I'm studying closes in a half hour. Getting dinner with a classmate to work on a lab and to study some more. I am doing my best to be productive.

So readers, what are some of your studying tips to add to my list?

Nearing a Beginning and an Ending

It is almost the end of the first semester of summer semester. I am excited for one class to be done, sad on is ending, and sad that clinic has gone so fast this semester. The new semester starts the week of my birthday. Between semesters I get to see my guy friend B I have talked about. Hopefully this will help me figure things out, even if it is only a little more clear if anything is between us. I could use some understanding of things. 

I get my hair cut and colored this weekend. Still not sure what color, but I need a slight change. Also this weekend I get to head home for Father's Day! YAY!!! I Love my family. 

Not sure what else to write, just needed to do an update. 

Summer Days

YAY for summer!!!! I am loving summer even if I am taking classes this year. I just had the best weekend I've had in a while. And I will tell you why as I am assuming since you are reading my blog that you want to know something about my life.

Friday night I went out with the girls to the bars. We started at a local bar that I was told I had to go to when I first moved here almost a year ago. This bar was a very short trip as their was a water main break limiting the drink choices. So we left after one drink. We then went downtown to this awesome bar that sells beer like it is on the stock market. The price goes up and down depending on what is being bought. As I don't drink beer, I got my usual. While there my friend S and I got hit on by "kissing gay cousins." It was a lot of fun, yet creepy at the same time. I was told I was voluptuous and sexy. I think my new red lipstick helped me reach this as well as feeling confident.

Saturday I then went to the beach with classmates. We relaxed, tanned, and chatted. The water was only 45 degrees, so no swimming. I got a nice burn on my back while tanning. We then walked around the downtown area of the town we were in. We got delicious healthy flatbreads at a restaurant and got yummy ice cream.

Overall it was a great weekend, even if it was not very productive.

Last night I found this awesome blog that I think you should all read, no matter what you look like. It is awesome and the post that this link takes you to is very inspirational. It inspired me and many friends.
http://www.themilitantbaker.com/2013/03/things-no-one-will-tell-fat-girls-so-i.html?spref=fb&m=1

Have a great day!!!!

Back to Class and The Sound "ear"

Summer classes...this is my first time ever taking summer classes. Luckily it is also the last time I will be taking summer classes. I have officially been back to school for a week and start clinic later today. I officially have my first homework assignment due tomorrow, and projects already explained and due in a few weeks. 8 weeks is a very short time for classes and clinic. I'm almost 25% done with the semester...weird. 

I have super planned for one of my clients, including a paragraph from their last clinician. I spent last night, with the help of a friend, coming up with words with the sound "ear" or /ir/ in them. When you are limited by not being ably to use other types of /r/ sounds and of the sound /l/, a lot of words can be cut from the list. Like clear or leer. But if you need a good list of these words here they are. The first half will be words you can pair pictures with, and the last half would be more difficult for pictures or for young children. I also spent the evening putting them in sentences without the other /r/ sounds or the /l/ sound (that was hard). 

 Beard,  Ear, Deer, Tear, Steer, Pier,  Gear, Ear muffs,  Earphones, Pyramid, Cheer, Fear, Mere, Near,  Hear, Smear(ed),  Earache, Shear, Sneer, Year, We’re, Tier, Veer, Sear, Period, and Rear. 

So I also thought I would give you an update on my guy problems as I usually end up talking about guys anyways. I am currently at a standstill with B. No idea where it is going or if it will go any where. So I'm just going to let it go, and not worry about it and keep my options open. As soon as I officially made this decision about B, he started texting me everyday at some point in the day. I really don't know what to make of it. Unless he is psychic and could see what my decision was. 

Another potential guy I will be meeting, along with a few other single classmates, is a friend of my classmate A. He is coming into to town to visit her for the weekend and she invited all of us out to the bars to meet him. Her post said something along the lines that he is cute and single and there are plenty of single girls in the program he should meet. I offered to be the wing woman for one of my friends, as she is more interested in a relationship than I am at this moment. 

Although there is this other guy who I have been talking to for about 6 months or so. We met on some random chat room site and shared skype names and have been talking about our super busy lives ever since. I have no idea what he looks like as we have never video chatted or exchanged pictures. I know that I enjoy talking to him and we have a lot in common as well as a lot of different interests. The weird thing is, last night I found out he will be within an hour away from me. Its weird how close he will be, but we still haven't talked about ever meeting. Who knows if this will ever be considered as more than just an anonymous friendship. 

So one more update, guy unrelated. I found a cool running program online this morning that will help me get up to running for a half hour within four weeks. This makes me excited as I am training for a Color Run. I also want to do several other 5K races, so this will help. I miss running. I am also coupon clipping healthy food coupons to help me save money at the same time as eating well. 

Reviving Ophelia

Tonight I found a movie that I've seen only once and decided even though it went on past when I usually go to bed to stay up an watch it. "Reviving Ophelia" is about a young girl who is an abusive relationship, but doesn't realize how her boyfriend is manipulating her. No one listens to her cousin who tells the girls family about the abuse.

This movie makes me wonder how girls and women can be in abusive relationships. That they can let a  guy manipulate them so much that even if they are hit, they still stay with the guy. Is it a psychology thing or is poor self-esteem? I know it isn't only women in these types of relationships, men can also be in abusive relationships. Relationship types can go either way, gender doesn't matter. The abuser should not be able to blame their upbringing for their actions. Abusers can come from good homes or bad homes, and good people do come from bad homes.

I may have limited experience in the guy department, but I don't know if I could be one of those women. Since starting college, I have become so much more independent than I used to be. I worry about my friends that this is the relationship they will end up in. Maybe that is why I struggle to trust myself or guys. I don't want to end up in a relationship where there is abuse.

I remember my first year of college that my roommate read the book "Reviving Ophelia." She was all about supporting girls knowing their bodies and respecting themselves. To not abuse their body with eating disorders.

Even though I am officially obese, I would never abuse my body with bulimia or anorexia. I want to be healthy, even if that means I'm not a size two. Even if people think I am fat, I don't care, people are mean and hurtful. They hurt people to build themselves up.

I may not be the most confident person, I may not fully like myself, but I want to be happy and healthy. I will be respected in whatever relationship I end up in. I am too independent to let a guy push me around and abuse me. I am too proud to abuse my body.

For any of you readers out there who have been told they are fat or ugly. Don't listen to them. You are beautiful/handsome in your own way. Listen to your friends if they say you might be in an abusive relationship. If someone hits you, please report them. Love is not shown by hitting you. Please be careful.

Some Dreams and Some Goals

I randomly downloaded a free book on my kindle the other day and found that I loved it so much I bought the second book. I read both in a day and cannot wait until the third comes out. I went to the writers website and found that she had started writing these books as a project during the November writers thing that happens every year. I sadly have never participated in this as I've always been busy with school. But it inspired me to write a list of some dreams and goals I have.

Goal/Dream 1: I want to write a book. I don't care what kind of book. I just want to write a book. I've started several books, but I have never finished them because I find that I can't continue them. I want to finish one as soon as I am done with my Master's degree in a year.

Goal/Dream 2: I want to ride on a motorcycle. Not necessarily driving it myself, but I want to ride one. Not picky on type or brand or whatever.

Goal/Dream 3: To love myself. I don't have to like everything about myself...just a few more things. 

Goal/Dream 4: I want to fall in love. Fall in love and get married and start a family. I was almost in love once, but he pushed me out of his life after a few months of getting to know each other. It was heartbreaking, but I'm ready to find love.

Not sure what else other goals and dreams I have. I don't usually think about them too much.

Readers, what is one of your goals?

A nifty party that was the bees knees.

All dolled up. 

Just got home from a banquet with my ladies and other speechies. It was speakeasy themed. So to get ready for the night I decided to do finger waves and dress in '20s fashion. I went out and bought some fishnets, the stuff to do my hair, and a long strand of pearls. The girls decided I was the cats meow. LOL. Love the 1920s slang. I did some think gel eye liner as well as some red lipstick. It was fun to be dressed to the 9's.

I spent all morning watching videos of how to do the finger waves and even then I spent an hour trying to fall their instructions I came up with my own way of creating the finger waves. Now if only I could figure out how to make the shorter portion of my hair turn out as nicely. I would do it more often. Longest part once you figure out how to do it, is to let your hair dry. I used gel instead of the lotion or other suggestions. I just used basic metal hair styling clips. As combing forward first didn't work for me. I started by combing back, pinning the, combing forward, pinning, and repeat until I got down by my ears. Then I did the other side. But of course had trouble with that side as it was backwards to what I had already done.

I'm thinking this might be a good outfit to pull out for Halloween next year if I actually decide to go out on the town. I was a gypsy this past year at the campground.

Well it looks like the weather is going to be nice this coming weekend and week. I'm looking forward to running, relaxing, and working on my tan. So to everyone who reads this have a great weekend and coming week as I don't know if I'll have anything to post about until school starts in May.

Survival and Braveness

I SURVIVED!!!!!

I made it through my first year of graduate school. YAY!!! After 2 weeks of limited sleep, one in-class exam, 2 take-homes, and 2 online exam, I am totally done!!!! It feels so good to be done with 2 semesters of graduate school and to know my fall off campus placement!! Yes, I finally found out what my fall part-time placement will be :) I will be in the local schools here. Not sure what age groups, but I'm excited. Now to get a good placement for the spring :)

To celebrate I am going to meet up with my classmates for a mini potluck and dancing at one of the local dance scenes. I have been to a smaller version of this club back in my hometown, but this one is huge. It will be fun. I made brownie-cookies, which are yummy. It should be fun.

I've been reading this really good blog on tumbler. It is about a girl who is also in grad school, but is working on her PhD. The funny thing is I feel like her sometimes. We have a lot of similarities, but also quite a few differences. But it is nice to read. This is the link to her first post. I've been reading from the beginning to her most recent posts. http://confessionsofasinglegradstudent.tumblr.com/post/35149157410/cute-smart-and-single  She posts a lot more often than I do. Makes me wonder if I'm slacking on the writing of this blog...hmmmm

So as camping season has begun, I now get the house to myself. Yeah, it sounds awesome, but it is rather lonely. And I also don't sleep that well, I kind of freak myself out a bit. I am really tempted to invite B over (the guy I like), but he doesn't really have the money to visit. He was able to get enough money for a trip back North.

So here is an quick, short update on B. I like him. Like a lot. And I told him...hence the braveness in the title. My plan was to send it right before I went to bed and log off and wait for his reply. Well that didn't work out. I sent it telling him how much I liked him and how I didn't want it to be a what if. I sat there for what seemed like an eternity waiting for a reply...it was only like 10 minutes or so. But he replied. He likes me too, but has things to figure out first, but is willing to figure them out with me. So we'll see how this goes....Hopefully it doesn't take too long to figure out.

We are still talking a lot, which makes me happy. Now that I finally told him that I like him, I have let myself truly feel my feelings for him. I'm not hiding them from myself or suppressing them. Makes me know that I was right about my feelings and that it was a good idea to tell him. Makes me wish I didn't live so many hours away from him, so that it was easier to visit each other.

I'll keep you random readers up to date. Everyone have a good rest of your week and weekend. I'm going to go buy that new wrap thing from McDonalds.

One Year Almost Done

Tomorrow is the beginning of finals week. I am currently making flash cards for my only in class exam as well as watching After|Words. After|Words is a documentary about aphasia and is a must watch movie to understand what people are experiencing. It reminds me of the individuals I worked with last semester. I have one in class exam for voice and for my other two classes there is an online portion and a case study portion. I will be done by Wednesday!!! YAY!!!

So one problem I'm experiencing right now is sleep. I can't fall asleep, I don't stay asleep, and I seem to toss and turn when I am staying asleep. It is making life difficult as all I want to do is take a nap and keep sleeping. It is getting annoying. Most likely it is from stress and my ever thinking mind. My mind doesn't stop. Confession: one thing I'm thinking about is telling my friend B that I like him. 

Yes I know in my last post that I didn't like B. I'm so focused on school that I push down feelings or doubt them. I've always doubted my feelings, which makes it hard to know what I feel. Right now my main problem is I don't know myself as well as I should and that my self-confidence is not the highest. I need to work on this, but I think talking to B will help. It would be a long distance relationship if he has similar feelings. He currently lives 3 hours away, but in the fall he will be further away for school. He makes me smile and makes me feel better. He helped me smile when C broke up with me. I found myself listening to his suggestions of what kind of movie to watch and his second choice of nail polish last night. It made me laugh. Confession: He is a great guy who I am nervous about at times that he won't feel the same way or that we are too different. My friends know why we are so different, and its not something I want to share with all of you random people online.

Last weekend was formal for my sorority and my brother's fraternity. So it was a long road trip up there for an epic weekend with some awesome people. I drove my friend L up, her roommate D up, and my brother up. It was a nice long 9 hour drive. There were so many laughs and good quotes from the weekend. "Hold me" "These girls not those girls" "Big and Meaty" I'm amazed my stomach didn't hurt from laughing so much. It was good to see my friends again. I got to try on my bridesmaid dress for my friend T's wedding. Had fun with my date M, who is taken by my friend K. I got lots of free drinks and kisses that night. I had fun until I started to get tired and couldn't deal with the crowds. I was glad to get away from the bars and walk to my brother's and B's fraternity house. I of course complained about the snow, but that was mostly because I was already cranky from dealing with crowds. It was nice seeing some of the alum at the house, but B could tell I was cranky so he gave me, L, and A a ride back to the hotel with a pit stop at Taco Bell. Food helped me get in a better mood. I did not sleep well that night as it was way too warm in the room. I don't like warm rooms. We didn't even go to bed that night until 5am on Sunday morning. L and I decided that D would drive home. He and my brother had some interesting conversations. I am so glad I have another year until the next formal.

Friday was a good day this past week. I spent the morning observing an orthodontist at the cleft clinic western puts on. I then spent an hour in the afternoon wine tasting with some of the girls from my program. That was so much fun. I bought a bottle of wine that I had never tried before. That evening I then went to see "Kiss Me, Kate" with different girls from class. It was just a great day of not studying.

I apologize for the random order of things. But I was just writing how it was organized in my mind. I will keep you all updated on how things with B go or don't go. Feel free to comment with any questions you have or name a topic you want me to talk about.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all of my readers!!! 

My hair right after I cut it the first time. 14 inches shorter. 

I was excited that I was able to finally spend an Easter with my family. It was a great weekend to spend with my family and a little bit of time with my brother's girlfriend. My weekend started after a great tour for potential students with amazing weather. My drive home was beautiful and the only thing that could have made it better was no slow people in front of me in areas where I couldn't pass. Confession: I used to be a slow poke driver but now I'm a speed demon at times. When I got back to my family's town, I went straight to my hairdresser to meet my mom and get my hair trimmed. It is so nice to have it back shorter again. I went almost two months without cutting it and it had grown about an inch which is a lot when it is as short as I have it now. 

I then followed my mom back to our house. I spent the first portion of the night trying to finish my room. My parents are planning on selling their house this summer, so I had to pack up my room. So when I had that basically done I went up and played some cards with my parents. The rest of the weekend was spent studying for an exam I have Monday morning and finishing packing. I also found some awesome Alpha Xi Delta stuff in Mt. Pleasant thanks to my brother and his girlfriend. For just over $20 I bought a huge Alpha Xi Delta blanket, a bag, a sock monkey wearing a sweatshirt with AXiD on it, and a car decal with BetXi bear on it. (pictures when it lets me)

It was a great weekend. 

So I mentioned in my last post that I thought I liked my friend B. Well after hanging out with him at my work banquet, there were no butterflies or any other feelings. So no future boyfriend anytime soon. Which is actually a good thing. I am currently super busy with life and not able to find time to actually have a boyfriend or meet someone. I'm so used to being single that it works for me. Besides, I plan on moving to Tennessee or the UP when I graduate next year. Why would I want to start a relationship with someone who wants to move somewhere that I don't. 

So in other news. I recently signed up for the Color Run this summer. I'm super excited and working on getting in shape for it, even though it isn't until August. It will be awesome. I also colored my hair Darkest Violet. It looks awesome. Hopefully after this long week of papers, an exam, and a presentation, I will get to see my friend L from my pledge class. She plans on coming to hangout with me for at least one night and day. YAY!!!

Lazy and Exhausted

So sorry for letting so long go without a post. As the title suggest I am lazy and exhausted, but sadly I've also been rather busy. I gave up on like everything in the last post, the no TV, the reading the bible everyday , so on. I'm too lazy and TV is how I de-stress after a long day at school. So lets see since my last post I had an awesome Valentines Day with my awesome friend H who did her undergrad with me and is doing her grad here in audiology, I hung out with one of my best (and only) guy friends B (confession: I am pretty sure I like B, but I am horrible at knowing my own feelings, see more later in post), went on spring break, and just had a pretty good St. Patty's day. I have decide I will most likely grow out my hair as I can't afford to cut it every month and I really want long hair whenever I get married. Whenever that happy day may or may not occur.

So before I talk about all of that awesomeness I should explain how lazy and exhausted I am lately. I am so lazy that I have had time to workout and instead I just sit and watch TV because I'm so exhausted. I know, I know, working out should help with the exhaustion, but then again I'm lazy. But I hate the weight I have put on and need to loose 50 lbs. So other than working out, I am also going to do my best to cut gluten and dairy out of my diet (my stomach has been unhappy and painful lately). So now for the fun stuff.

So Valentine's day was on a clinic day this year. So started it with head start in the morning, which is always fun. I love those kids. Two of the ones I am monitoring "did" my hair and make-up on Thursday in the dramatic play center. So after head start I headed to clinic to work for a little bit. H and I had planned to get lunch at B-dubs. It was yummy and we ran into my classmates B and K (different B than the guy B, I'm not good at distinguishing sometimes). I then returned to work/clinic for the rest of the day. Got some work hours in and my ESL client didn't show up (sort of as usual, first of 4 sessions in a row that they missed). After clinic was over H and I went to see Beautiful Creatures  and then had our usual Glee night. From my parents and grammy I got an awesome 31 bag and 3 sock monkeys. I have a weird obsession with sock monkeys. I also bought myself flowers and a rose plant (which is basically dead). Overall one of the best single Valentine's I've had since high school.

Right before spring break, basically the first official day of break, I drove 3 hours to see my guy friend B for the day. We hung out, took care of his farm animals, I cuddled with his dogs and guinea pig, he took me out to dinner, and we went bowling for about 3 hours. It was fun and nice to just hang out. We flirted a little and picked on each other. He tried to help me with my bowling game, but it seemed to just make it worse, or my arm was just getting tired from the ball that was too heavy. I didn't leave his place until 10:30 (which was when I was supposed to arrive at my friend H's {from high school} apartment). I got to her place at 12ish. Overall a great start to break.

When I got to H's apartment we talked guys as she finished packing, we didn't get to bed until 1:30. It was nice to catch up and have some girl talk time. We left her place around 8am the next day and hit the road for North Carolina to see our friend S. We hadn't seen her since August at her going away party. The week was so much fun. We did way too much shopping, saw Silver Lining Playbook, started watching the awesome show Dr. Who (the new seasons), and just had awesome girl time. I worked out 3x while there, which is more than I have since early January. It was fun and I got to go to Tennessee where I potentially might move in a year, unless something changes my mind...hint hint.

So today was St. Patty's day, and I had a pretty good day. I went to church for the first time in 3 weeks it was nice  to be back. I then met up with H (the first one mentioned) to see The Great and Powerful Oz, study time at Biggby, and dinner at Steak and Shake. It was nice to catch up with here, even though we saw each other Friday...lol. We're canceling Glee night this week as I am going home for the weekend. I have a "date" or date, don't know which yet. My employee recognition banquet for my summer job is on Friday and I asked my guy friend B to be my date and he said yet. Its country themed and he is excited to go ( I hope). I'm also hoping to try to initiate a kiss, hopefully he doesn't have the same plan lol.

So I think I'm all caught up on life and the craziness. So much studying and wishing it wasn't freezing cold. I'm tired of cold and snow and cold. I'm also tired of being exhausted all the time, I don't think I'm sleeping well again and I don't know why. I don't feel stressed or anything, so maybe I can figure it out soon.

I am wondering how many people actually read these blogs. I also wonder if anyone I talk about reads these. If so, B will know I think I like him...oh yeah why I don't know I'll try to explain tomorrow or in my next post. Like I've said I'm too lazy exhausted to do it now. So to get where I was going before I distracted myself. If you are reading this, please make one comment. I just kind of want to know how many people are reading these. You don't need to leave a name or anything. I'll most likely keep posting even if no one comments. 

Good night all you anonymous people out there.  

Trying Something New

So to go along with my last post about change. I signed up for this Intense Discipleship Program at my church. Confession: I am a Christian. I know that this may not totally be apparent unless you read about me meeting my ex-bf on ChristianMingle. But yes I am a Christian and I am proud of it. I don't go around "shoving it down throats" or yelling it out loud, but I do my best to live the life that God and Jesus have directed me to live. I try to be non-judgmental as it is said "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her" John 8:7 (NASB). This may not be the exact same version that most people learn, but it gets the point across, and it is the version of the bible I have sitting next to me.

I have just finished my first Daily Devotion of the program and the reading was Acts 18. The verse that  stood out for me today is the reason I am posting this blog. I think even though this is about my graduate life that I am going to also share my life as Christ is directing it as that is part of my graduate life. If this offends any of you I am sorry, but this is is who I am. I am sharing my faith as the verse that "spoke" to me told me to do. In Acts 18:9-10 "And the Lord said to Paul in the night by a vision, "Do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent; for I am with you, and no man will attack you in order to harm you, for I have many people in this city." These verses told me that I should not be afraid to share my faith as the Lord is with me. So that is what I am doing.

So just so that those of you who read this and those I talk to (the 1 or 2 of you) I will give you a heads up of what the "requirements" are for this program. I must attend class every week (Confession: sadly I will be breaking this rule in a few weeks, resulting in my "dropping" the class. I will be on spring break and have had these plans for months, so not canceling them.). I must attend church every Sunday and sit as close to the front as I can (Confession: blech, I like my back row seat, I do not want to sit near the front, but the pastor knows I'm doing the program). Daily Devotions and 10 minutes of distraction free, outloud prayer (Confession: the only time I talk to God outloud is when I'm having very random conversations with him or sometimes just ranting. I guess prayer is just talking to God so this part shouldn't be to hard, except that 10 minutes is a long time.) I have to listen to Faithbuilders on CDs, for this first week I have to listen to 2 cds and then write about them for a quiz I will be taking each class. Memorization of verses which isn't too hard for me, especially because one of the verses I am learning this first week is one of my favorites: Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Don't know the exact version of the bible, but will figure that out before Sunday. Next I have to serve in a ministry at my church each week which. isn't too bad. I have to love people and be kind and encouraging...I do this anyways and do my best to not be "mean". I also have to be an example of God's love, again I try to do this already. If I've been mean to any of my readers, I apologize and hope you can forgive me for what I did to you. But I do not apologize for sharing my faith if that is what I have done to you. Some other random ones things that I need to do and isn't too hard for me.

Now for the kicker in which both R who lives with me and my mom asked if I had joined a cult. I know they sound crazy and I'm already going crazy from. Limit media (TV, internet, books, magazines, video games, phone apps, etc.) to 2 hours A WEEK unless it is work or school related. This is only two hours a week, I watch at least 5 hours of TV a week and spend way more of that online doing random things...:( I am going to struggle without watching all of my tv shows. I also cannot listen to secular music (which means no country for the next 4 weeks...dying), no movie theaters (dying again....so many good movies out), only appropriate movies and video games. And the last one in which any college student of any level will gasp and yell "BLASPHEMY"  at is no alcohol. No bars for me as I cannot drink or listen to the music. Might not follow this as I will be on spring break and I'm already dropping the course for spring break, so oh well.

So for those of you who think I am crazy...I am using this as a social experiment as well as a way to get closer to God. There is music other than country (gasp) and I already hardly drink...but now that bottle of wine on the counter looks really good. I can do this for hopefully three weeks is my goal, maybe 2.

Wish me good Luck....and pray for me if you believe in it.

New Changes

Asymmetrical right side

I feel like I've been in a rut lately, and so does my friend K. Usually I just dye my hair and that is enough...I did that in December and it did not help at all. I don't know why it didn't work this time, but it didn't. So I decided during the Super Bowl that I was going to cut all of my hair off, and spent the game trying on hairstyles online. I finally found one I liked and cut off about 14 inches to donate. I know have a sassy, sexy pixie cut. Woo hooo :) See the awesome pictures. Conffesion: first time putting pictures up on my blog..... Today my hair is sort of in a punky look, which is awesome.

Asymmetrical left side

I sort of feel like a new me. It isn't totally a new me, but it is enough that I had a confidence boost Thursday and Friday when my classmates and teachers saw the new cut. Lots of compliments and it seems as everyone loves it!!! Which is yet another confidence boost. Confession: I have a somewhat low self esteem, even though there is no real reason for it. So with these confidence boosts, my self-esteem seems to be growing, slowly.

Wondering what this new haircut will bring.....*pondering*

To my readers: Have you ever really needed a change from your life? What did you do to make that change?



I apologize for the short post, but currently don't have much to write about.

What do I want?

I've been thinking lately...I considered going back on Christian Mingle, but then decided not to. Most of what is next is jut one big confession.  I think that I'm not ready for it. I told my friend K that I don't know what I want. I know that I have a lot to give, but no one special to give it to. For now it is given to my friends and family, and I guess for now that is enough. I just feel lonely a lot lately. I was thinking today that I have all of the love, but I don't know if I am fully ready to give it to one guy. My mom and I have talked and I'm finding I am a lot more independent than I thought. I'm not ready to share my life with someone. It's just hard at this time of year with Valentine's Day right around the corner. I have plans with my friend H, but this is yet another year that I will be single on this "romantic" day. I even feel like I'm becoming a bitter woman on the inside, even though I have no reason to be bitter.

I am looking forward to the future. It is so bright and full and promising. I'm hoping that I'll be able to move to Tennessee like I feel drawn to. My hope is that this is where God is sending me and is part of his plan. I've considered leaving Michigan for somewhere new, but now I'm feeling the pull to Tennessee and a specific region of Tennessee. Luckily I still have over a year to figure that out, right now I'm just trying to figure out where I want to do my off campus placements for fall and spring semester.

Another thing I was thinking about today is every once in a while showcasing some of my favorite recipes that I have found and been making. There are so many and I'm not starting tonight, but I will start on my next post.

Another note to my readers, I really don't know if it is worth writing. So if you enjoy them and want me to write about something special leave me a comment.

New Years Resolutions

New year, New chances, New plans, New resolutions.

I survived Christmas and New Years with the family. We had fun with movies and drinking and  games. It was a good break. We also watched a lot of movies and I bought a lot of movies....busy busy busy. 

So school starts tomorrow at 9am....way tooo early for class. Luckily my classes are done by a little after 3 and I can get home to work on school stuff and working out. Confession 1: I gained all of my weight back over break.  I am starting a new diet and workout regime tomorrow, starting with yoga to wake up. 

New Years Resolutions:

1. Be happy
2. Enjoy life
3. Have more fun
4. Work out more
5. Lose weight
6. Continue to survive grad school.
7. Run at least one 5k this summer. 

This year I have several 5K runs I want to do. The color run, the dirty girl mud run, and the warrior dash. So we will see how many I do run. 

I don't really have too much to write about so I'm just going to end for today with a question for my readers. 

What is one of your new years resolution?