What do I want?

I've been thinking lately...I considered going back on Christian Mingle, but then decided not to. Most of what is next is jut one big confession.  I think that I'm not ready for it. I told my friend K that I don't know what I want. I know that I have a lot to give, but no one special to give it to. For now it is given to my friends and family, and I guess for now that is enough. I just feel lonely a lot lately. I was thinking today that I have all of the love, but I don't know if I am fully ready to give it to one guy. My mom and I have talked and I'm finding I am a lot more independent than I thought. I'm not ready to share my life with someone. It's just hard at this time of year with Valentine's Day right around the corner. I have plans with my friend H, but this is yet another year that I will be single on this "romantic" day. I even feel like I'm becoming a bitter woman on the inside, even though I have no reason to be bitter.

I am looking forward to the future. It is so bright and full and promising. I'm hoping that I'll be able to move to Tennessee like I feel drawn to. My hope is that this is where God is sending me and is part of his plan. I've considered leaving Michigan for somewhere new, but now I'm feeling the pull to Tennessee and a specific region of Tennessee. Luckily I still have over a year to figure that out, right now I'm just trying to figure out where I want to do my off campus placements for fall and spring semester.

Another thing I was thinking about today is every once in a while showcasing some of my favorite recipes that I have found and been making. There are so many and I'm not starting tonight, but I will start on my next post.

Another note to my readers, I really don't know if it is worth writing. So if you enjoy them and want me to write about something special leave me a comment.

New Years Resolutions

New year, New chances, New plans, New resolutions.

I survived Christmas and New Years with the family. We had fun with movies and drinking and  games. It was a good break. We also watched a lot of movies and I bought a lot of movies....busy busy busy. 

So school starts tomorrow at 9am....way tooo early for class. Luckily my classes are done by a little after 3 and I can get home to work on school stuff and working out. Confession 1: I gained all of my weight back over break.  I am starting a new diet and workout regime tomorrow, starting with yoga to wake up. 

New Years Resolutions:

1. Be happy
2. Enjoy life
3. Have more fun
4. Work out more
5. Lose weight
6. Continue to survive grad school.
7. Run at least one 5k this summer. 

This year I have several 5K runs I want to do. The color run, the dirty girl mud run, and the warrior dash. So we will see how many I do run. 

I don't really have too much to write about so I'm just going to end for today with a question for my readers. 

What is one of your new years resolution?

Preparing for the Holidays

In exactly one week is Christmas...Can you believe it? I'm excited. Confession: I actually have all of  my shopping done over a week before Christmas!!!!! This has not happened in forever. I just need to wrap them. I can't wait for my family to see their presents...and just in case they read this I am not saying what I am giving them. Plus I think I got some pretty good Secret Santa presents for the person I was shopping for. Who ever has me is doing a great job.

So the plan to lose over 35 lbs by July is going to be a challenge. 1) It is the holidays and I do not want to gain weight I have already lost. 2) I need to try to find time to workout. 3) I just got Coldstone and Biggby giftcards. I can use them before the new year, but I still have them in my possession. 

I can do this though. I found a diet I am going to try and if it doesn't work, I'll return to the one I used this summer to lose 15 lbs. 

We have decorated for the holidays...sort of. We didn't decorate like my house downstate, but we did do some decorating. The tree is up and decorated. As we don't know where our angel is...other than in the storage unit...we used one of my little angel decorations, tied it to the tree with fishing line, and put two little mice under it. It is adorable and fun. 

Finally, I got my grades for my first semester of grad school. I got a 3.75!!!!!! YAY!!!!! 3 As and 2 BAs!!!! 

The End for now...

Life Keeps Changing

So a lot has happened since my last post...and when I say a lot I mean A LOT!!!! Instead of giving all the details, as I've told these stories a lot, I will give you the brief short story of my life the past couple weeks.

C met my parents for the first time. He liked them and my brother and they liked him. I returned to school and a few days later C called and broke up with me. He said he couldn't connect or open up with the distance and our busy schedules. C also said that we are at different points in our lives and that he can't share in the experiences I am having. I understand the last half, but he didn't even talk to me about the way he felt so that we could find a way to work on it. That is probably the most irritating part of it.

This weekend I went to da UP to see my friends and brother. I had a blast and enjoyed every minute of it. Saw lots of friends, painted something at HotPlate, and ordered the bridesmaid dress I will be wearing in my friend's wedding.

As the school year winds down, I am getting tired of all of the work. I have one final done. I have another final I'm working on. I have a project to do. I have a final to take. And I'm done with clinic!!!! That is a lot going on I know, but I'm enjoying life. I'm enjoying school. I really don't mind being single again. I don't have to worry about finding time to spend with my boyfriend or how I look or anything like that. Plus I've been single so long, I'm no good at being in a relationship.


I also found out today that I have had over 100 pageviews. YAY!!! Just a poll to see how many people who are actually reading this, How many of you are happy with how your life is right now?

Stress and Happiness

So I've had a lot going on in my life since my last post. I know it has only been a few days, but it has been enough that I was sick for most of it. Luckily I have also been happy at other times even with the "sickness" or whatever it is.

So Tuesday morning I woke up with a bad headache. I didn't think anything of it as every once in a while I get headaches, but they go away quickly. Well this one didn't go away for days. It just kept getting worse and I was also experiencing some nausea at the same time. I managed to work through it Tuesday and most of Wednesday so that I didn't have to cancel therapy sessions or miss classes. Wednesday I tried some excedrine migraine, but the headache/migraine was so far gone that it did not help at all. The only way I was able to deal with it was by laying down in complete darkness and with limited noise. Problem was, I had a lot of homework to do and even sitting up would make me feel so sick and in so much pain that it was unbearable. So I ended up at the ER that night. Confession: I have always wanted to consider myself independent, but I was glad I had someone to be dependent on that night. If it hadn't been for B and D I don't think I would have made it through that night or the next day. B took me to the ER and stayed with me the whole time, she also drove me to the doctor the next morning and did my laundry. I feel bad that she did my laundry, but I really appreciate it. The doctor gave me meds for my nausea and headaches, so I slept most of Thursday and didn't go to the clinic as I don't think I would have been able to manage. The next day I was able to manage for a few hours before the pain came back, but couldn't take anything until I got to my parent's house because I didn't want to try to drive after taking my pain meds.

Saturday was the last major day of pain, but I was able to keep it away most of the day, by taking my pain meds early in the morning. My parents and I went up to Traverse City for the day. My dad went to the football game to cheer on my high school and watch them win the game that secured them a place at the state finals. My mom and I went shopping. We went to the little strip mall behind Gander Mountain and we then walked around the mall. I didn't buy anything at either of these places. I couldn't find what I was looking for so didn't buy anything. YAY ME!!!! lol.

After the game, we picked up my dad and then walked around downtown. We went to several stores. One I tried on the harry potter sorting hat and took pictures. The store had a lot of hats of all kinds. We went to Cherry Republic and did wine tasting. I wasn't liking any of the wine, so I switched to their pop tasting. I ended up buying a couple bottles of their pop. It was delicious. That is all I bought. We then went to dinner at Cracker Barrel because Olive Garden was packed. I was starting to get my headache back, but dinner and lots of laughs in the store portion made it go away and me feel better. I found a section in the store that was completely full of different sock monkey items. For some reason whenever I see a sock monkey I get super excited. Well this section had sock monkey slippers, robes, earmuffs, gloves, scarves, toys, candles, and much more. Being silly my mom and I took a picture together of us both in sock monkey earmuffs. It was fun and I was glad to be feeling better.

Well on the way home from Traverse City, I was texting C, my bf :). Confession: I really like being able to call C my bf. It is so easy to say and just fits. I had sent him both of the pictures of the sorting hat and the earmuffs. He laughed at me and wanted to know if I had bought the sorting hat. Lol. We were flirting back and forth and planning what time I would come over to his place the next day for our date. He told me he wanted to spend as much time with me as he could, and it made me so happy to know I felt the same way.

I got to his house at about 4. Darn gas stop made me get a late start. He showed me the main floor of his house, which has most of the work done on it. He had repainted, redone the counters in the kitchen, and he had redone all of the floors. It looked amazing. Well after that we went and walked on the boardwalk along the lake that is right in Holland and it was romantic. We held hands and walked and talked. I like holding his hand, they just fit right. When we got back to the car he opened the door for me and shut it after I got in. I've always wanted a guy to do that. We then went downtown and walked around and looked for a place to eat. They had already decorated for the holidays, which made me laugh because it was so warm out. Well most places were closed, but we found a good restaurant to eat at. While we were waiting for the waitress to come to get our orders, he held my hand on top of the table. He actually held my hand at a restaurant, this doesn't happen to me.

After dinner we went back to his place to watch a movie. It was nice, he let me pick even though he had suggested one. I picked a different one than he suggested and he didn't mind. We watched Despicable Me, it was good to laugh. We also cuddled and it was nice to feel safe and cared for by a guy. It has been a while. We talked after the movie and he is coming to meet my family later this week. He is kind of nervous, even though there is nothing to be afraid of. My dad and brother are big teddy bears, my mom can come across scary but she is just silly. I'm excited that I get to see him again so quickly. That is three times this month!!! It might seem silly to other people, but we hardly saw each other until this month.

I'm just happy right now. The stress of my headaches is gone for now. I'm home for Thanksgiving. As I probably won't post again until after Thanksgiving, I will list what I am thankful for now.

1. I am thankful for my amazing family I have. 
2. I am thankful for my amaXing sisters both from my chapter and my sister from another chapter. 
3. I am thankful for my new boyfriend who makes me feel special and who I am falling in love with.
4. I am thankful for B and D for letting me live at their place. 
5. I am thankful for my new friends at western.
6. I am thankful for the opportunity to be working on my masters degree with a great faculty of teachers. 

Pure Joy

Confession 1: I'm so excited, I'm in an amazing relationship!!!!
So C and I had a date last night that was great! It has been three weeks since we have seen each other, so I was super excited to see him. I had been worried all week that he wasn't going to be able to come, because his nephew had made him sick with a bad cold. But he still came!!! Just no real kissing because he didn't want to get me sick. He is such a sweet guy to think of that :) I appreciate how much he thinks about me, and I'm trying to think of fun things for us to do, and how to be romantic. I feel like I have no experience when it comes to relationships, so I'm doing the best that I can. It is hard, but I really care for him and have new feelings I have not had before.

So back to our date night. We started the night with a dinner dish I made. It was a sour cream chicken enchilada I found on Pinterest. It turned our to be delicious and it was a brand new dish that I had never made before. I'm glad it turned out. We then played on my Wii. I won four out of five of the Wii sports games, and only one of the games on Wii resort. He quickly got a hang of all of the games. Lol so my goal of beating him didn't work, but it was so much fun. We then watched "Man on a Ledge" We cuddled the whole time, it was so nice. He is nice and cuddly and I feel so comfortable being close to him. So much that I'm sure I could fall asleep next to him...but that is another topic not talked about yet. After the movie, we played a game of Jenga (I won) and then lots of games of UNO (we both won many of them). Lastly we watched "House Bunny." He picked it out if you are wondering the weird movie choice. After the movie ended, we cuddled and talked and then the big question came up...

He asked if I wanted to start dating (like bf/gf). I said yes, or mmmhmmm, without any hesitation. He asked as I was coming up with a way to ask him where things were going. I was so happy that we were on the same page. I was so excited when he asked and that I didn't have to ask. He makes me feel so happy.

After he asked me, we talked about how our families would feel or act. It was so nice to just talk. And I get to see him again next weekend, no long wait this time.

So one final note about how much of an amazing guy he is. He texted me saying that I looked very pretty on our date. That meant a lot to me as I was wearing jeans, a simple t-shirt, and my hair up in a ponytail with little to know make-up on. I didn't feel super pretty, but it made me so happy and special. I like feeling special to someone :) <3

MQT I miss you

So last night I was talking to a friend from undergrad who also moved away to continue their schooling. Today I was talking to a friend who is still at NMU but will be graduating in less than 2 months. What did these two conversations have in common? We talked about things we missed or are going to miss. I know that I am on a new adventure and it is exciting, but every once in a while I want to be back in MQT, so I thought I'd make a list of things I miss and then a list of things in my new place that I love.

What I miss:

1. I miss climbing Sugarloaf mountain at night and looking at the stars and the city lights. 
2. I miss being a 10 minute walk from the beach. 
3. I miss going to the beach to watch the giant waves roll in from the storms out on Lake Superior and playing in the waves as they crash over the walls and onto the road. 
4. I miss sitting on the beach at night watching the ore boats coming in and looking at the stars. 
5. I miss being so close to nature, that seeing a deer or fox on campus was not surprising. 
6. I miss being surrounded by my sorority sisters. 
7. I miss being able to call up a friend and them being at my door within minutes to be a shoulder to  cry on. 
8. I miss the family I created in Mqt. My sisters and friends. 
9. I miss going downtown to paint pottery and picking it up a week later to see an amazing creation. 
10. I miss country night with my crazy friends on Thursdays. 
11. I miss learning how to pole dance to help me loose weight. 
12. I miss having the opportunity to watch sled dog races happening downtown. 
13. I miss indoor football games. 
14. I miss dancing the night away at the Vera, Blue Lounge, or Greek formal. 
15. I miss getting hugs everyday from my friends and sisters. 
16. I miss being able to leave for class 10 minutes before it started, and still getting there 5 minutes early. 
17. I miss having a church that I loved. 
18. I miss being grandmother willow for my sisters. 
19. I miss teaching the new members of the sorority how amaxing it is. 
20. I miss a lot!

What I love now:

1. I love my walk-in closet. 
2. I love the chance to make new friends. 
3. I love having a mall behind my house. 
4. I love living in a house. 
5. I love my drive to school. 
6. I love that I'm falling in love. 
7. I love having Biggby coffee in the area. 
8. I love the atrium in my class building. 
9. I love my clients. 
10. I love clinic. 
11. I love learning. 
12. I love that I'm loosing weight (even if it is from stress). 
13. I love living with people who care about me. 
14. I love being closer to home. 
15. I love being able to buy my favorite wine whenever I want to. 
16. I love having my own area of a house. 
17. I love not sharing a tv. 
18. I love that I am being more artistic. 
19. I love having a porch for jack-o-lanterns. 
20. I love my life. 

So I guess with what I could come up with is pretty even. Either way I know that even though I really miss MQT, I wouldn't change my life. I'm living life, I'm loving life, I'm smiling, I'm laughing, I'm happy.